*Bleurgh*

Today I officially feel like the dregs in the bottom of the drain. After spending the whole of the morning and some of the afternoon on Saturday hanging round London waiting for Rob's passport we got caught in a few light showers and hey presto! I've got the dreaded summer cold.

Afterwards we went to the cemetery in Greenford to visit my daughter Jaia's grave and to take off my long-dead wedding bouquet. Jake really spooked me out while we were there; we were giving Rob some quiet time at the graveside and as we were walking back up he pointed over to her grave and in baby-babble said something which I could have sworn sounded like "daughter".

When we were finished there we popped down the road to Wembley to see my mate Claire and her family. We gave Jake his dinner and needless to say we ended up staying for dinner too. Dinner turned into lounging around on the sofa and before we knew it we were watching the end of "The Green Mile" on Film Four which was sometime just after midnight. Reluctantly we had to drive the 50 mile journey home and trying to get Jake back off to sleep when we got home was a nightmare, to the point where I had to go and sleep on the camp-bed in his room most of the night. I finally made it back into my bed around 9:30am, Jake still soundly asleep. We all woke up around 11:30am and I felt like I'd been run over by a bulldozer with this summer cold, so indeed Bleurgh!

The snotmonster is here and my head feels like it's made of lead... NOT GOOD.

We got our tickets through for our honeymoon and thanks to a nifty bit of e-observation I've managed to get us 2 free passes into the VIP lounge at the airport, which in this time of heightened security will (hopefully) be a bit quieter and a LOT more comfortable.


Since Friday I have been reading a book called "Basics of Buddhism". I won't go into the long story of it (too ill and can't be arsed) but something I read in it the other day links back to a massive spiritual experience I had about 3 years ago and loads of things clicked into place. Suffice to say that back then I was given a message which, upon reading this book translates into one of the main Buddhist meditation chants, "Nam Myoho Renge Kyo" - otherwise known as the heart of the Lotus. I hope I can keep my head into this book as things are making sense after a long spiritual drought, mostly caused by having no time to call my own. I have the 4 and a half hour flight each way, and hopefully a bit of time while we're on holiday so I'd really like to finish it.

It's Rob's birthday on Friday, I wonder what 32 feels like(?!?), probably the same as 31 and 30 I suppose but with a few more grey hairs eh? We're off out for a curry with his Mum and Dad on his actual birthday and hopefully if our friend comes through with some tickets we'll be off to "V" with a couple of day passes for Saturday or Sunday. Failing that we've got Martin (Rob's best man) coming over for the day on Saturay, which will be cool whatever we do. Have to go into town today to get Rob's birthday card - hehehe first "hubby" one, it's gonna wig me out cos it sounds like I'm all grown up and stuff (which clearly I'm not). I still feel like I'm a little kid playing in the "big kids" playground - marriage, mortgage, kids etc., I feel like such a fraud!

Anyway, I've rambled on enough for now - I just thought I'd better post something as it's been nearly a week and I've said nothing on here. Hopefully I'll be feeling better before we go away; 3 days coming, 3 days here, 3 days leaving is what they say I think...

Wish me luck (lol I'd originall typo-ed "wish me muck", sounds about right!).

Today's post was brought to you in snotmonster bogey Green.

*Sniff*