Man, it's been a heck of a long time since I posted, and so much has changed in my life since the last one.
Quit my job, changed my social circle (somewhat!), been into hospital, got nearly drowned at Glastonbury and these last few weeks I've been trying to rescue the vestiges of my sanity from quite possibly the darkest depression I have ever known.
I wish I could come on here and feel like I had something positive to contribute but my outlook is just so bleak I can't see any way out right now. All my passion for stuff has departed and in it's place is this cancerous emptiness. The only thing that keeps me going is Jake, because I have to and I worry so much that this "me" that is nothing but a shell is going to have some kind of detrimental effect on him. To say I'm fucked in the head right now is something of an understatement. It's almost as if I can see myself breaking down, time-lapse photography style. I'm sick of visiting my GP as it's been almost weekly lately because of my back pain and so I went to see him yesterday for (yet another) referral, only to be advised that very afternoon I need to get him to refer me to local mental health services... I just have no energy left. I'm surprised I'm writing this to be fair as I have no inspiration, no desire, nothing. I guess I'm just typing this to see what the inside of my head looks like. I dunno.
Oh well, gotta pick Jake up from preschool soon so I'm off.
Laters
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