So we've had an interesting weekend, went down to Whitstable to stay with my Nan and Grandad and as usual when we're down there Jake went to my Mum's friday night. All was going well until Saturday night when we ended up having a blazing row with my Mum and Stepdad which put a damper on the rest of the proceedings somewhat.
All we wanted was to make sure Jake was safe in their child carseat and my stepdad went ballistic when for the second night in a row I noticed it wasn't fixed in properly and we said we weren't happy for Jake to travel in it until we were satisfied it was secure. I got a tirade of abuse about how he was an engineer and he knew it wasn't going anywhere (it was wobbling about all over the fucking shop) and wouldn't even let me get a torch to try and see if I could secure it any more myself. It seemed to us whenever we specifically asked them to do something while they had Jake in their care there has always been an excuse and this was the straw that broke the camel's back. Having been in a near fatal car accident when I was a child and after losing my firstborn I wasn't about to take a chance with Jake. I basically told them that if they couldn't respect our wishes then we simply wouldn't be happy and relaxed with him in their care anymore, and until that was the case that was the end of it.
I'd just had enough. Rob went round to theirs, collected his travel cot and the rest of his stuff and sat down and told them that up to now he hadn't put his two penneth in as he didn't want to make matters worse but it'd got to the point where it was affecting us and there was no way he was going to let that happen anymore, especially speaking as Jake's father and taking a united front as our own family.
So Mum was giving it all the tears and Roger was somewhat regretting his hasty defensive words and after chatting a bit more to Rob he arrived back at my Nan's where we were staying.
I've already mourned the loss of my mother after he (my stepdad) made her choose between me and him when I was 15 and she chose him. I couldn't care less if I ever saw her again, but I felt that her and Jake had something to gain from having a relationship and put my personal feelings (or lack thereof) to one side.
Neither did I regret one word of what I said, nor apologised for it as far as I'm concerned I meant every word, and stand by my convictions. She was a bad mother to me (with shite taste in men to boot) and I'm not letting my son suffer at her hands, but I'm also not going to make him suffer by not letting him see her at all as I know what it's like to feel lacking in a family relationship.
So I called her that night and explained that all we wanted was for them to respect our wishes and if we ask for something to be done while he's in their care, it is done TO.THE.LETTER. We ask for good reason and that is all they need to know. If they can respect that then there's no problem and bygones are just that.
GAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My mother and father suck. I'm just glad I cut all ties with my father and have one less parent to fight with.
No-one in my family is gonna pull rank with me anymore as I have earned the right as a mother and wife to make my own choices and for them to live with the consequences of their actions.
Monday, November 13, 2006
Monday, November 06, 2006
Busy busy!
My God, my feet have hardly touched the ground this last week or so! From where I left off with my last post I've been preparing like crazy for the job interview, to the point where on Monday night I put my bits and pieces back in my interview bag and said to Rob "I've done enough". I knew that I was so hideously over-prepared that if I didn't get the job then it certainly wasn't because I didn't know what I was talking about. I was happy with everything that I'd done and when I got into the boardroom for my interview my preconceptions were correct, that the interview was pretty much nothing more than a formality and they offered me the job on the spot.
The surprising thing was that they'd come in and offered me the top figure that I'd asked for in the bracket as my basic salary. When I was talking to them initially they asked me what I was looking for and I gave them a figure that I would be looking for had it been a local job, but had to call them back a couple of days later and tell them that with the extra travelling it'd put a fair amount on top of my childcare when you calculated it annually, and lo and behold they accepted. I know that I could have probably got about another 3 grand as that's the going rate in London, but having no product knowledge was a serious hindrance and I know I'll be in a much better position to get a more substantial payrise further down the line.
So the last few days have been spent ironing out the contract, going out and getting clothes and stuff for work, arranging childcare and making sure Jake and I are ready and prepared for next week.
Saturday however I took a day out of job stuff and with Jake at Nanny and Grandad's we went to see our friends Ben and Heather in Lewisham and about 20 or so of us piled on down to Blackheath to watch their annual firework display and then go back for soup, of which I brought over some of my home made Cream of Potato and Sweetcorn *lickslips*
Jake came back Sunday evening and after initially being really freaked out by all the fireworks banging and popping we turned all the downstairs lights off and stood with him at the lounge window and he watched "all the pretty magic stars" from the safety and comfort of the lounge. We even put a few spare sparklers in the ground and let him watch them burn and we sang "twinkle twinkle little star" as they were sparkling away. We caught his wonderment on videocamera as he just sounded sooooo cute with all his "oooow's" and "ahhhhh's" and the banging on the window when he saw something. Can't wait to take him out next year, when hopefully he'll be a little less frightened of the noise.
Anyhoo, my job starts on Wednesday 15th and Rob's got a training course in London all day which'll mean we can get the train in and home together on my first day.
The surprising thing was that they'd come in and offered me the top figure that I'd asked for in the bracket as my basic salary. When I was talking to them initially they asked me what I was looking for and I gave them a figure that I would be looking for had it been a local job, but had to call them back a couple of days later and tell them that with the extra travelling it'd put a fair amount on top of my childcare when you calculated it annually, and lo and behold they accepted. I know that I could have probably got about another 3 grand as that's the going rate in London, but having no product knowledge was a serious hindrance and I know I'll be in a much better position to get a more substantial payrise further down the line.
So the last few days have been spent ironing out the contract, going out and getting clothes and stuff for work, arranging childcare and making sure Jake and I are ready and prepared for next week.
Saturday however I took a day out of job stuff and with Jake at Nanny and Grandad's we went to see our friends Ben and Heather in Lewisham and about 20 or so of us piled on down to Blackheath to watch their annual firework display and then go back for soup, of which I brought over some of my home made Cream of Potato and Sweetcorn *lickslips*
Jake came back Sunday evening and after initially being really freaked out by all the fireworks banging and popping we turned all the downstairs lights off and stood with him at the lounge window and he watched "all the pretty magic stars" from the safety and comfort of the lounge. We even put a few spare sparklers in the ground and let him watch them burn and we sang "twinkle twinkle little star" as they were sparkling away. We caught his wonderment on videocamera as he just sounded sooooo cute with all his "oooow's" and "ahhhhh's" and the banging on the window when he saw something. Can't wait to take him out next year, when hopefully he'll be a little less frightened of the noise.
Anyhoo, my job starts on Wednesday 15th and Rob's got a training course in London all day which'll mean we can get the train in and home together on my first day.
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